Go to a Chinese Buffet and watch how fast people “bum rush” the food. Perhaps you have seen it. Some family whose gross weight equals that of a loaded dump truck, running (walking very fast) to the buffet as if they were starving to death or as if the Chinese restaurant was going to run out of food. I have actually been run over and pushed out of the way buy these people trying to get an egg roll or egg foo young. I usually keep my cool and mumble some profanity under my breath as I pray they choke on a piece of General Tso’s Chicken. The last time this happen I forgot to use my “inside voice” as I slandered the persons character in front of the restaurant staff and customers. OOPS!!! I cannot handle it… I completly loose my cool. It is so bad, I usually wait until lunch or dinner hours are over to go… so I don’t get stressed out before I eat.
This is the very reason I do not go to Hell-Mart (Wal-Mart). Seriously, I do not go into the store, EVER!!! 99% of the times I have gone I get so stressed out that I am looking for a reason to smash the cart into someone and get my “Ultimate Fight” on. I go to get fruit and veggies in a good mood and I leave wanting to do bodily harm to people… no good. I have literally had a cart full of groceries and gotten so angry I left the cart in the middle of the isle and walked out.
This leads me to today… I did not realize that everyone in my city followed me to the grocery store. Seriously, it was bumper to bumper carts. I damn near caused a riot at the bakery looking for the right kind of whole wheat bread. There was a 400 year old man in from of the apples trying to find the perfect ones. Me and this lady looked at each other and kind of snickered at the guy because we were thinking the same thing… We were going to smash into this guy on either side with our carts, send him to see Jesus so we could get our apples before the rotted in the box. Good Grief… The same thing happened in the cheese section. There was a lady taking up the whole section with her cart and she was touching all the bags of shredded cheese. supwitdat? After giving her some hateful looks I was in the process of going linebacker on her, she allowed me to reach in and get the shredded, processed dairy I was looking for.
This is why I do not go to after Thanksgiving or Christmas sales. If I shopped on the day after Thanksgiving I would be going jail ministry from the inside out… seriously. It would be a blood bath. This is the very same reason (one of them) I moved closer to work. Bumper to bumper interstate traffic completely stresses me out. It is a good thing I do not carry a gun. Jail ministry would be a reality. I tried standing in the middle of 19,000 people at a Creed concert one time… oh my goodness… I thought I was going to die and carry those within arms length with me.
This is the very reason I am afraid of going to New York City with Wendy. I have seen the pictures and heard the stories. Elbows and assholes for blocks and blocks. No thank you…
