Tension:
-noun
1. the act of stretching or straining.
2. the state of being stretched or strained.
3. mental or emotional strain; intense, suppressed suspense, anxiety, or excitement.
If there was one attribute that would describe by spiritual journey over the last 7 years would be the word “Tension”. I was introduced to the concept of “spiritual tension” by Mark Driscoll as I was plugged into the internet ministry of Mars Hill Church (Seattle). Mark often talked about how there should always be tension in the Christian’s life. This is “proof” that the Holy Spirit is active in conforming us into the image of the Jesus. Romans 8:29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son…
Tension is not an easy thing. Especially when I personalize it (spiritually) and allow Holy Spirit to stretch and strain my spirit and mind. (Random thought: Perhaps this is the whole idea of Jesus teaching on the new wine requiring new wine skins). I can picture this process like the old 80’s television show “The Incredible Hulk”. The process of morphing, changing shape, violent change into a “creature” that cannot be contained in its current form.
I can best identify with the Apostle Peter when he is chilling out at Simon the tanners house in Joppa in Acts 10. Peter is praying and God puts a huge plate pork in his face (bacon, sausage, hot dogs, pepperoni, bologna, etc) Peter being a good “religious” jew has never “defiled” himself with the “common or unclean”. God tells him that the things he has made clean do not call unclean. My favorite part of the story is Acts 10:17 Now while Peter was inwardly perplexed as to what the vision that he had seen might mean, behold, the men who were sent by Cornelius, having made inquiry for Simon’s house, stood at the gate INWARDLY PERPLEXED!!! That is tension!!! God was began stretching Peter for something he never believed possible. As the story progresses we find Peter preaching to Gentiles (”common and unclean”) and they get saved, the Holy Spirit drops down on everyone in the house and God proves to Peter that the Gospel of Grace is for everyone. There is so much tension and “INWARDLY PERPLEXITY” in the story that the scriptures tell the story twice in two chapters (Acts 10 and 11).
I cannot imagine the inward struggle Peter must have been dealing with. The tension, the questions, the “what if”… the proverbial “WTF”. This was like a major spiritual and historical event that Peter was allowed to be part of the experience. Truly amazing when I stop and meditate on it.
Perhaps I do know what it is like to have your “spiritual” world completely turned upside down with a bomb dropped in the middle of it. Having spent the better part of a decade being a religious, fundamental, legalistic, pharisee. I know what it is to segregate those that are “common or unclean”. Several years ago, God lowered a plate of “common and unclean” in my face and showed me that I need to get over my spiritual prejudice because I was going to be neck deep with “common and unclean” and the spirit would do a work.
I believe, like Peter, there are times when the past comes up, former friends and associates come to spy out my liberty in Christ. Gal.2:4 Yet because of false brothers secretly brought in—who slipped in to spy out our freedom that we have in Christ Jesus, so that they might bring us into slavery Peter gets carried away with his brethren who come to check out the liberty to the point Paul has to confront him to his face… Gal.2:11 But when Cephas (Peter) came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned.
There is great tension when my new life in Christ(LIBERTY) comes face to face with my old life in Christ(LEGALISM). Legalism is bondage. Yet much like a cult follower it is hard to completely shake the brainwashing. There have been times when I just wanted to chunk the the whole thing… good and bad.
Through the tension God is faithful. The beauty and power of his grace reaches deep into my soul and lets me know I am on the right track. I am thankful for my new friends and Sojourn. A group of “jacked up” people who don’t have it all figured out, Loving God and Loving People, doing life together.. The good, the bad, and the ugly. A place (refuge) of liberty and grace.
One Comment
The most difficult wrestling I’ve seen, once delivered from the legalism of religion, is to still love and tenderly care for those who are still there. I have seen abandonment. I’ve seen disdain for. I’ve seen resentment, and hatred to a world HE led me out of. I’ve even seen those who dismiss the entire ‘camp.’
I cannot recall that I’ve ever been shackled with any of the aforementioned reactions. I pray. I pray for MY brothers and sisters. I love. I love my brothers and sisters who are still there, who don’t understand me and my “liberalism”. I love them more fully, more deeply and with fondness.
No arguments with, but acceptance of where they are on their journey. My words are to encourage and pique their interest in living ‘outside the box.’ I is not necessarily easy, but most welcome because I can understand where they are.
Such surprises will be revealed in eternity. Do you think, after the “Glory to the Lamb who was slain!”, the common question will be, “What are you doing here?”